#19 - GRADUATION

A morning burst of sun at my place on Lakeshore Road, Ontario - 2019.

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It was ’19 - I was 23 - and I had avoided moving out entirely. After passing on post-secondary and pursuing my freelance career from my family home in Niagara - my savings kept me from making any major moves away. Eventually, the need for a space I could call my own had gained priority over my financial wants, as my business kept growing and my pile of gear grew bigger and bigger. The space I occupied eventually reached a breaking point when I decided I needed to be in a space I could make my own. 

In the summer - I had a feeling I would be flying the coop within the following months, and was given a free weekend to plan and host a big boy banger (thanks Mom & Dad!) I put at a ton of work into the party because I knew that the situations were habitually and relationally temporal - there would never be a moment so opportune and “2019” again. The previous party I had held was my public school grad in 2010 - and the party in 2019 made me feel like I was finally graduating out of my Niagara home altogether.

By mid-October, I had found a place in Niagara-on-the-lake to rent short term while I figured out my next move. My hopes were to end up somewhere new in the new year , but not too far that I couldn’t still maintain my local connections. Once I was finally out and had settled into my temporary home, a dazing feeling of mortality kept washing over me, and I was reminded of my own temporary nature, with my life, with my relationship and with the homes that had come and gone.

When I remember 2019, it feels very much like a year-long graduation to the challenges and opportunities that 2020 would eventually present. I’m glad I was able to cross those bridges in the times that I did, so I could face 2020 from the context of being a real adult doing their thing and trying to make it work in the world. I had spent the last few years trying out many different life situations, and I was hardly ready to land on one - but I knew I needed to start somewhere, and the only way to figure out where was to start flying.

“This is the last one, Coming home!”

Broken Magic, Wildlife